Very early on in my career, a much older broadcaster gave me some very valuable advice. He said, “when you agree to do something, you are obligated to do it well. If it means staying until midnight or cancelling weekend plans, you must do that to honor your commitment. If you know that your plate is full, do not volunteer and say no if you have to, if you are asked directly.” It turned out to be a very important policy for many that I know.
I have met a few entrepreneurs who started out doing pretty well after a few years. They were superstars in terms of service but then the wheels came off and fairly quickly. How? They could not say no to people. Some smaller customers took up huge amounts of their time and would grind them for lower prices. They did not draw a line in the sand and they let these pests take them away from larger, more profitable customers who also had significant potential. Others wanted to do joint promotions which would benefit the other guy 80% and my friends 20% even though my contacts were putting up as much as 60% of the money in to the test. As one of these business owners told me, “I failed because I failed to mind my own store. I have learned how to say no politely and tell people clearly what I can and cannot do. Over the years, I have lost very little business saying no and been freed up to do new things or taking care of my important customers.“
The concept of FOMO comes into play here especially in the deal business. A very old acquaintance told me about the pitfalls of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). He is allowing me to quote him almost verbatim—“Some 50 years ago, I was out on the golf course with three prominent men in my community. One was an attorney, another a prominent car dealer, and the third was a fair sized player in local real estate. The real estate investor began to talk up a local deal that he was cooking up in town. By the 18th hole, the others had signed on to the deal. Over a drink in the clubhouse, all eyes were on me. Well, do you want a piece of this deal? We can cut you in for only $10,000. Don, that does not sound like much today but I was only 32 years old. A $10,000 commitment was a great deal to me. So, I said yes and we all shook on it. The papers arrived a few days later and I barely looked at them, signed them and dropped off my check to the developer. My young wife was furious. I lectured her and told her this was my chance to get in with the movers and shakers in our community. Well, you know what happened. The deal went sour. The other guys shrugged and the lawyer told me that most deals do not work out so we all needed to simply move on to the next one. It was a great life lesson. As you know, I retrenched and got involved in many partnerships and equity investments. I learned to do very careful due diligence and to say no most of the time no matter how good the track record of the lead partner(s) in the deal. Saying no has saved me and made me.”
Saying no can also save your personal life. If you are drowning at work, the best approach is to tell someone tactfully that you cannot take on the new assignment as you would not be able to do it well. There is a delicate balance involved here. If you always say no to superiors, you put your future in jeopardy. Yet, we are all allowed a life away from work and leisure and family life provide rewards and great balance.
Perhaps the best comment on this subject that I have ever heard came from (you guessed it) Warren Buffett. Speaking to a crowded group of MBA candidates a few year ago, the great man said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.
Buffett and his partner, Charlie Munger, at Berkshire Hathaway allegedly look at dozens of deals and Warren reads and breaks down the financials in hundreds of annual reports each year. Yet, they only make a few moves each year and sometimes do almost nothing in terms of new commitments. Maybe the third wealthiest American is trying to tell us something.
If you would like to respond to Don Cole directly, you may email him at doncolemedia@gmail.com or leave a message on the blog.
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